


Recall

by zzzzzzzo



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Sburb Session, Alternate Universe - No Sburb/Sgrub Sessions, First Meetings, Flashbacks, M/M, and the plot is them in the future at random points in their relationship recalling what led to it, it's basically like they were internet buddies for a really long time but never exchanged photos
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-31
Updated: 2014-08-31
Packaged: 2018-02-15 15:00:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2233341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zzzzzzzo/pseuds/zzzzzzzo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A lot can happen in just a few short days. Or hours. Or seconds, even. Of course, as John and Karkat fondly recall, falling in love is one of them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Recall

**Author's Note:**

> Why finish the things I've already started when I could start a new thing? Haha... Ha... ha... I'm sorry. Special thanks to Jackie ([Tumblr](http://insertawesomeusernamehere.tumblr.com/)/[AO3](https://archiveofourown.org/users/insertawesomeusernamehere)) for editing! ^^ You rock! Anyway, enjoy~

You love his smile.

It's wide enough to strain his cheeks, but not overly so. It's free and cocky, but always sincere, and so gorgeous. When you first saw it upon meeting in person, you realized you're in love. That grin is the trigger; it planted the seed that grew into so much more.

**Karkat: Recall.**

You pace back and forth impatiently, eyes flicking about the terminal in a way that is not at all anxious, of course not. Except that is a lie, and you have never been so terrified in your entire life. You should have told him sooner, you knew that all along, and yet you deluded yourself with empty promises of telling him later, and you let things get to this point. And now....

_ Oh god oh man oh god _

You're about to meet John Egbert. Who still doesn't know you're a troll.

Not just any troll either, oh no, you had to go and be a fucking freak. A mutant. An abomination in every sense of the word.

John's already done so  _ much _ for you. He's taken your shit personality, your insults and sensitivity, and not only does he tolerate those; he likes you. He cares despite you being absolute scum, a smudge on the face of the earth, and he jokes and he  _ cares _ and takes it all in stride. He's always been there for you, not just making do but helping. He teases lightly when you're crying over a movie, but comforts you all the same because he knows that feel. When Terezi broke up with you he was there, letting you pick what the two of you watched while you streamed movies and damn near drowned in a tub of ice cream. When Crabdad died, John stayed up all night with you on a school night.

He has taken all that, but what if he can't handle more? What if when he learns your species, or your blood color, that's his boiling point? The tip of the iceberg? What if he becomes fed up with you, as he should have long ago? Hates you and regrets coming and leaves you abandoned? You.... You don't want to think about that.

You deserve it, of course. You are an absolutely deplorable being, rude and self deprecating and a freak of nature. Still, though.... The thought of losing him, your closest friend, for not your horrible personality but something you can't control... it breaks your heart a little. Your disgusting, bright red heart.

Your phone chiming breaks you out of your train of thought.

**okay, i'm here. finally, ugh, who knew traveling across the whole country would take so long?**

**anyway, where are you?**

**JOHN, WE DISCUSSED OUR MEETING UP HERE. NOT ONLY THAT, WE PLANNED IT TO A T IN VIVID DETAIL. AFTER ALL THAT, AFTER THE EXTENT I WENT TO PLOT OUT OUR MEETING, HOW THE FUCK COULD YOU ASK ME A REDUNDANT QUESTION LIKE THAT? I AM ACTUALLY SURPRISED BY THE LENGTHS YOU'VE GONE TO BE A COMPLETE DICKSNIFFING DUMBASS EXCEPT I AM NOT AT ALL. YOU'VE ALWAYS BEEN AN IDIOT, SO REALLY, I SHOULD HAVE EXPECTED THIS. I APOLOGIZE FOR MY EXPECTATIONS SURPASSING YOUR MENTAL CAPABILITIES.**

It's a wonder that you have any friends at all, really. Of course John is unaffected by you being a complete turdbreathed doucheballoon. He's used to it by now.

**well, excuuuuuuuuse me, princess! it's not my fault your little plan is so weird and pointless i forgot. i don't get why you're so insistent about seeing me first or whatever anyway.**

**MY REASONS ARE NONE OF YOUR CONCERN. NOW THEN, LET'S MOVE ON. THE SOONER YOU CUT THE BULLSHIT AND DESCRIBE YOURSELF, THE SOONER YOU CAN SLEEP OFF THAT JETLAG.**

**bluh fine. i've got square glasses, black hair, blue eyes... um, i'm like, part korean, does that help?**

**NO. YOU AREN'T NARROWING IT DOWN AT ALL FUCKNUTS.**

**well, sorry! what am i supposed to say?**

**GEE, I DON'T FUCKING KNOW, MAYBE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING? LIKE I TOLD YOU AGES AGO?**

**jeez, no need to get all prissy about it. i've got a bright green suitcase, black ghostbusters tee, jeans, green sneakers. happy?**

**I'M NEVER HAPPY.**

**chef vantas, your cuisine is lovely. it has just the right amount of moistness, good flavor, it's cooked the right amount... however, i'm detecting the slightest hint of bullshit.**

**SHUT UP, UGLY FUCKLING, I'LL NEVER FIND YOU IF I'M DISTRACTED.**

**not my fault you're a complete sasshole, but okay. i am pretty tired so yeah. shutting up: initiated.**

You could leave a snarky reply to that, and normally you would, but.... Okay, you sort of really really want to see him, to attach a face to the blue text that is your best friend. So you stop, and look.

It doesn't take you long to find him. Really, you probably could've looked straight up to do so with how tall he appears. It doesn't help you've always been short yourself. But you digress. The point is John's there. Right there.

Using his suitcase as a makeshift seat, he fiddles with his phone, long legs pressed close to him in an attempt to avoid tripping people. Windswept black hair frames his face, a face pinched in concentration as he plays some cellphone game most likely. You take a few steps closer, slowly, hesitantly, and see that behind his large lenses are the bluest eyes you've ever seen, possibly the bluest eyes in the world. Deep and dark and if you made eye contact you could probably drown in them.

You can feel a lump rise in your throat. He's new and unexpected but at the same time he's so  _ John  _ it hurts, and you are so, so scared because he's different, and what if he's not okay with that, what if he doesn't want a friend if that friend has gray skin and horns. What if upon meeting yours those soft blue eyes narrow in disgust, the same glare you send mirrors, and because he's John he tries to hide his disappointment with a forced smile, struggles to tolerate you in the flesh, hates you, what if what if what if.

You swallow, squaring your shoulders resolutely. Delaying this won't help anything; in fact it might even make this worse. You aren't going to just stand here all day dreading it. If there's one thing you refuse to be, it's a coward.

With this in mind, you trudge over so you're close enough to address him, but not so much that you're looming over him. Hesitate. Man the hell up.

“...Hey.” Your voice is small and hoarse, not at all like the gruff bark you usually use. Too quiet, he doesn't hear you. You clear your throat and try again. “John.”

He glances up from his phone and blinks, puzzled. After a moment he hops to his feet, gangly and uncoordinated. Damn, he's even taller than you thought. He probably has a whole foot on you. “Karkat?”

You're craning your neck to look at him, to see that hope in his blue blue eyes, and you practically crumble. You're a letdown, a failure. You aren't going to act all high and mighty about this; you owe him that much at least. So you lower your eyes and nod.

The silence seems to stretch on forever, absolutely unbearable. It's really only a few seconds, of course, before you get the courage to peek up at him through your bangs.

And

stare

John's absolutely beaming at you, buck teeth front and center, eyes going all squinty. You don't know why, if it's the smile's beauty or its unexpectedness or your adrenaline or something else entirely, but it takes your breath away. And you realize you're in love.

“Hey, Karkat!” he chirps, bouncing on the balls of his feet in his enthusiasm before pulling you into a tight hug. He laughs a little while he squeezes you and easily buries his face into your hair, sincere and delighted and a little sleepy. You are frozen, stiff and unrelenting in his arms. With all your fears and expectations, you hadn't even allowed yourself to  _ think _ of the best that could happen, and now you're getting something better.

He must have been holding you for a whole minute before he pulls back to look at you, concerned. “Um... Karkat? Buddy? You okay?” Even when he's worried about you that smile continues to split his face, as if he's simply too elated to stop. God, he is beautiful.

“...Yeah.” You finally wrap your arms around him in return, pulling him tight and close and hiding your face in his shirt. You don't want him to see you're smiling like a complete doofus too. He does more than enough of that for the both of you. It is not, absolutely not in the least, to hide how your eyes are becoming a bit wet. Of course not.

When you find a 'kick me' sign taped to your back later, you're hardly even annoyed.

 


End file.
